All of us, even those who look like they have it all together, get hit by curve balls. We all go through the different “seasons” in life. It seems that most often, we are just trying to keep our head above water until we “get through” this trial or that. We are constantly looking for the end of one ordeal so that we can get back to “normal life”. NEWSFLASH: there is no “normal life”… There is just life. Ups and downs, peaks and valleys, rainy days and sunny days. Expect the curve balls. Expect the waves to crash. It is going to happen there is no getting around it. So what is the secret that I said I discovered?
There are several attributes or characteristics I have noticed that all those people who “have it all together” all seem to have. (I will just refer to these people as “successful” people)
- Goal and Value Oriented. Successful people know what their values are. Values are like the root system that each of us stands on. Imagine if there was no root system in those century old oak trees. Without their roots, they would never have grown so large and majestic. They would have fallen over at the first strong gust of wind if they had weak roots. Our values do the same for us. They give us something to stand on when the wind blows and difficult situations happen. Goals are equally as important as our values because they give us incremental steps to make our values real and tangible in our lives.
- Positivity. Successful people are positive people. We have the ability to choose to look at things in a negative way or a positive way. Positivity is an attitude, and our attitude is always a choice. We do not necessarily have the ability to choose how we feel. Feelings and emotions are results of a combination of factors including hormone and neurotransmitter release of which we have no direct control over most of the time. Successful people feel negative and difficult emotions too, they just don’t allow those emotions to dictate attitude or outlook.
- Action takers. Successful people take action. They are doers. They do not wait for circumstances to change; they are the ones who change their circumstances. Successful people realize that intentions mean nothing and action means everything. Being successful in anything takes effort, action, and work.
- Gratitude. Having gratitude is a must. Gratitude and complaining cannot coexist and successful people know that. They are grateful for the things they have and the opportunities they have. If they are not getting, or do not have what they want, they don’t complain about it… they change it by taking action.
- Flexibility. There is no way to stay standing as the waves come crashing down on you if you aren’t flexible. Flexibility is SO important. Without flexibility there is no effective way of experiencing difficult situations and at the same time continuing toward the life you want. Flexible people will experience difficulty and make adjustments where they are needed and still continue in the direction of their goals and aspirations. Imagine the tree analogy again, if the tree is brittle and inflexible, it will snap during that strong storm. But if it is flexible it will sway with the wind and still remain rooted and strong.
- Accountability. Wherever you are in your life right now is a culmination of all of your best choices. Ok so look at it another way: we all know the idea of cause and effect. You speed through a school zone (cause) and you get a ticket (effect). But all too often there is lag time between the cause and the effect; we just don’t take the time to do the CSI investigation on our life. You may find yourself in a “bad situation or circumstance” and wonder why this is happening to you. So that bad situation is the “effect” of something or a whole bunch of somethings from years of habit and choices that weren’t so great. So to find out what the “cause” is you have to do a little investigation that may go back days, months, and even more likely YEARS. But successful people do that investigation really super fast… they just take a look in the mirror. Take responsibility for your life and where you are at. If you don’t like it, don’t blame it on anything, just do something to change it. Don’t hang out in that investigation too long. The reason “why” doesn’t matter, what really matters is what you decide to do about where you are at. (Please don’t get me wrong: there are many things that happen to us in life that are completely outside of our control and I am not talking about those things here)
So if you feel like you are thrown off track and things keep stopping you from getting to where you are headed, ask yourself which one of these areas you can improve in. I know I need to improve in most all of them. It's a process yall. Just keep taking one step after the other. Eventually you will get there!
